Hi people out there👋. I’m not to sure how many of you actually read my posts:?. I just thought that today I would do something a little different since I got straight into reviews with this blog.
So who am I? Well I am a girl with many issues but who doesn’t have issues and yes I said girl! in a way I’m still a little girl trying to find my way in life given my crazy childhood.
When I was five my parents split up, so I had to deal with constantly moving from one parent to another which was never easy I felt like I never really found my home and if I liked one parent more than the other I felt like I was betraying the other and constantly felt guilty which was not nice for a kid.
I come from a mixed race family my mum is indian and my dad is half coloured half white/Italian so I was always confused not really knowing where I fit in. Was I indian? Was I Italian or just coloured? I dunno. I’m still kinda confused 😐. But I found as I grew older I accepted it and embraced my differences it’s what makes me Me😆. But growing up wasn’t easy I noticed that family members would treat me differently because of my mixed race. I was called names like ‘bushman’, ‘bushy’ and given someone’s left over dessert while the other kids got fresh dessert, yeah people can be nasty and cruel.
Not only was I treated differently by family members but also at school. I’m a very quiet, shy, reserved kinda girl I guess it’s from being an only child I always felt that I should protect what’s mine being it possessions or my feelings. So growing up I would always keep to myself and people saw this as a weakness and attacked me for it. I was picked on a lot in school but despite the constant bullying (physical and emotional) I worked hard. I remember I was first in my whole grade 😉 I always got certificates for excellent marks and once my English teacher asked me if she could keep my English book because she was really impressed with my creative writing and poetry. And then I went to high school and things were never the same again :|.
Not only that but I had also lost a father figure in my life to kidney failure which was very difficult for me and still is. It was really the first time I lost someone close to me and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it even today I’m not 100% sure how to deal with death, when someone passes away I feel the pain internally but it doesn’t show so I could come across as heartless. Not only when it comes to death I think with certain things I keep it to myself and come across as a cold person some times. I’m really not a heartless, cold person I’m actually the most loving person you will ever meet:). I trust and care easily which can be both my strength and weakness.
Anyways….Once again I was picked on for being reserved I found that the kids in high school knew a lot more about grown up things then I did and would tease me because I wasn’t at that level. I was called all kinds of ugly names and because of that I could not focus on excelling at school not only was I dealing with the kids at school but also with being juggled from one parent to the other and fights over who I should be staying with. I finally moved in with my dad but he already had a family of his own and I was so used to being the only child I couldn’t adjust to being around others. Dealing with all those things and dealing with being a teen where your emotions are heightened (no this is not Vampire Diaries👿) was tough .
There were so many things that I had to deal with, things were never easy but I found that it made me a stronger person in many ways. I found that I became internally mature quicker than the kids my age (if that makes sense:? not quite emotionally mature…what’s the word for that? Is there a word? I dunno😐) I could mentally make sense of all situations but didn’t understand why it was happening when it didn’t have to.
All the craziness, bullying, and uglyness I had to endure throughout my life didn’t take away my love for people I’m a little more guarded though because of everything but I still care a lot for others and don’t view everyone as evil even though that is what my childhood showed me. I’m still a very shy and quiet person but once you get to know me you would wish that I would just shut up 🙈🙉🙊 I’m sure that is how Moe feels most of the time hehe.
Some of the things that my experiences in life has taught me are: to never give up on people not everyone is out there to get you. Love is always stronger and can overcome a lot if you just believe and feel a little with your heart and your soul❤. Always think before you say and do things because you never know what battles others are facing behind closed doors. Always wear a smile because smiling is contagious ☺. Some bad things happen in life to prepare you and better equip you for the next stage in life what ever that may be.
Appreciate the little things in life, it’s nice to have material things but appreciate the people who love and care about you. Don’t spend your life constantly looking at a screen (phone, computer, tv) look around and take in the beauty of things, listen to the people around you, breath and experience life. There is so much beauty in the smallest things. Listen to understand not to defend. Ok ok! Let me finish this off with: love is really everything in life if you can feel you can live and love back.
Im new to this🙈 so I would love to hear your thoughts on this post if you feel that it’s a bit too much or if you would like more posts like this let me know👇.
Dont forget to spread some love today!✌💕😘